How to Choose a Therapist

People often wonder how to choose the right therapist. Making a good decision can feel daunting, especially when the person is virtually a stranger to you initially. There are many therapists to pick from, but choosing a therapist differs from selecting another professional, like an accountant or an attorney. Just because your friend recommends their therapist doesn't mean that person will be the right match for you. Despite this, you already have the tools to pick the right therapist, even though you may not realize it.

Although there are many different and often conflicting opinions about the type of therapy that is most beneficial, most researchers agree that the relationship between you and your therapist is the most critical factor in its success. Relationship quality has been shown to play a much more significant role in the therapy outcome than the therapist's credentials and techniques or the patient's diagnosis.

So, you need to pay close attention to your reactions when you meet a therapist for the first time, which will help guide you in selecting the right person. Here are some questions that may be helpful.  Did you feel safer and more at ease as you spoke with your therapist?   Did you feel like your therapist was genuinely interested in what you shared? Did you feel understood?  Did they respond to your feelings respectfully, accepting, and non-shamingly? Did this therapist seem like a caring, authentic human being, or did they feel cold and distant? Can you imagine telling your therapist when you feel misunderstood or hurt? ( A good therapist will be concerned about how they impact you and won't insist they know "the truth" about you). Did their comments seem like reasonable ideas worth considering, even if you didn't wholly agree?  Did this therapist feel like someone you could come to trust over time? The bottom line is, did you leave the session feeling hopeful, even if that hope is fleeting and tentative?

It's also important to remember that you may not always like everything your therapist says. This doesn't necessarily mean that you should switch therapists. It's often worth talking about your reactions with the therapist to see if you might learn something more about yourself, even if you ultimately decide to see someone else.

One last thought about picking a therapist: It's often helpful to meet with more than one person before making a final decision. A good therapist will support you in doing this. Understanding how different therapists work and seeing what issues you discuss with others can also be beneficial.