What should I talk about?

It depends upon what feels most helpful and meaningful to you. Some people have a very good idea about what they need to talk about, but others feel more confused and uncertain.  I can work with whatever you bring up, even if it seems unimportant or confusing.  And as strange as it may sound, sometimes not knowing what to talk about is the most important thing to talk about! If you’re having difficulty deciding what to talk about, I will not sit silently on the sidelines until you come up with a topic (unless, of course, that’s helpful for you). In other words, we’ll figure it out together.

Sometimes when people ask this question they are also wondering if they will need to spend a lot of time rehashing their childhood problems or analyzing their relationship with their parents. I am a psychoanalyst, after all, so this is a fair concern!  This perception is fueled by notions that effective therapy involves uncovering unconscious memories, and developing insight into the unconscious motivations for your behavior. Suffice it to say that I have worked with some people who have talked very little about their past and have made significant changes, while others have found it helpful to explore those early relationships in more detail.  What’s most important is that we talk about what feels important to you, and that you feel free to set the pace and direction of our sessions. My goal is simply to work collaboratively with you to help you to live a richer, fuller, more authentic and meaningful life. I don’t have a set agenda. That said, if our work is going well, it’s likely that you’ll become more curious about expectations and assumptions about yourself and others that you have previously taken for granted. In this way, effective therapy will help you to expand your horizons and to realize unforeseen possibilities.